Live again, Inuyasha!
by FannyT
Summary: When Inuyasha was reaincarnated after his death in the Feudal Era, he retained all memories of his previous life. And since his childhoos he's been set on finding Kagome, the woman he loved so long ago.
1. Love and hate first encounter

Hello everybody! Welcome, or welcome back as the case may be. This story was actually written for my sister, but I think (I hope) that you others out there can enjoy it as well. If you don't, well... sucks to be you! (Don't take me seriously, please.)

Disclaimer: I don't own Inu-yasha.

Love and hate – first encounter

"Are you sure that's her?"

"Yes, Miroku. I'm sure. Will I have to say that many more times today?"

"She doesn't look like the picture, that's all I'm saying."

"Listen, knucklehead. I would recognise that girl even if she shaved her head and grew a beard. OK?"

Miroku seemed to ponder this for a while, finally reaching a conclusion.

"Now that would _really_ be a pity."

Inu-yasha sighed deeply. That was such a typical Miroku-comment. He was diagnosed as "chronic lecher", which meant that he grabbed at anything in a skirt. This always tended to cause embarrassment, not least when they visited Scotland.

Inu-yasha stirred his drink and sipped it carefully (Miroku could do things with alcohol that made him wish he'd stuck to milk), then looked out of the window again. There she was, his Kagome. Well, technically she wasn't his yet – she didn't even know he existed, to be honest. But she would before long. He had moved into this house yesterday, and now it would be a good idea to introduce himself. "Good neighbour"-like. She would like that, he felt sure. And he'd have her back.

He rose from his seat by the window, putting down his glass on the table with a small clink. Reaching for his coat he changed his mind halfway to it, and left it hanging. It was only early spring yet, but the sun had been warm lately. And anyway, he'd just be going right over the street.

"Miroku?"

"Yes?" his friend stuck his head out of the kitchen, which he had been examining.

"Are you planning on sticking around for long?"

"If you'll let me. Actually, I'll probably stay even if you don't let me. I always like to have a place to crash at, and your joint is as good as any. It's a nice little shack, and the kitchen is simply superb! So the answer to your question is yes, I'll be around for a while."

Realizing that this was as close as he would get to "Please can I stay with you? Gee, thanks", Inu-yasha left his new home – and new roommate – and crossed the street to Kagome's garden. She was sweeping up leaves, depositing them in a big basket in one corner of the yard. She was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt that said "PADI diver" with the sleeves pulled up above her elbows – so different from that school uniform with the short skirt she had used to wear... Of course, she was older now. She had been... what? Fifteen, sixteen?... when he knew her, and now she had to be somewhere in her mid-twenties.

He leaned his arms on the fence, trying to look casual although his heart was thumping wildly, beating hard on the inside of his ribcage.

"Nice garden."

She turned around, shaking her fringe out of her eyes. Her face lit up in a delighted smile.

"Oh, hello!" She left her rake and her pile of leaves and walked towards him, brushing off her hands against her pants. "Bother, isn't it... you'd think all the leaf-raking business would be finished by late autumn, but when you start your spring cleaning there's still just as much left! You're our new neighbour, aren't you? I saw you moving in yesterday. I'm Kagome Higurashi, pleased to meet you."

"Inu-yasha," he replied, taking her hand. The feel of her skin, after so many years... Kagome smiled again, glancing at his ears.

"Oh, I see you are a demon... dog demon?" she asked, and he nodded. "I thought so. The name certainly suggests it."

"Yes, my parents didn't seem to have much imagination," sighed Inu-yasha, making her laugh. He then looked around himself, making a great show of taking in his surroundings. "I am very new in this neighbourhood... in this entire town, in fact. Only moved in yesterday, as you saw. If you have the time some day, would you mind showing me around a bit?"

"I'd be delighted to!" Kagome exclaimed, clapping her hands together and smiling happily. "It's nice to finally have someone of my own age around here. Most of the other neighbours are sixty plus. They're all dear old people, but one does long for other company. Of course, I don't know – being demon you could just as well be sixty plus yourself, couldn't you?" She laughed, the sound stirring golden, happy memories deep within his soul.

"If I was human I'd be... say, twenty-five, twenty-six years old," he grinned. "We'd better not go into the details of how old I _really_ am. But I'm only half demon, so I'm not that ancient."

"Half demon?" asked Kagome. "What a coincidence – one of my old work mates is half demon as well! So now I know two half demons!" She stuck her tongue and smiled mockingly, like she'd always done when she was making fun of herself. "Wow, aren't I cool."

"Kagome? Who're you talking to?" called a sleepy voice from the open window of Kagome's house. Inu-yasha stiffened. He knew that voice. Please, no. This could _not_ be happening.

"My new neighbour!" Kagome shouted back. "Come on out and meet him!" Then as a young man opened the door and came towards them, stretching and yawning loudly, she turned back towards Inu-yasha and explained, "This is my boyfriend, Koga. He's demon as well."

"Morning," said Koga casually, then laid an arm around Kagome's shoulders and kissed her ear. "Thought I told you to wake me up before you started working. I can do my share too, you know, even if I don't live here..."

"That's sweet of you, honey," smiled Kagome, "but you looked so cute when you were sleeping I couldn't bring myself to destroy the picture. Koga, this is my neighbour Inu-yasha – Inu-yasha, Koga." She waved a hand between them and Koga let her go, stretching out his hand towards Inu-yasha.

"Hello," he said, smiling. "Sorry for my bad manners, I'm not at my best when I've just woken up." Inu-yasha didn't take his hand, only stared at the other man as if he was seeing a ghost. Which, of course, he was – in a manner of speaking.

"Gods, not in this life too," he mumbled, making Koga frown in puzzlement.

"Sorry?" he said, grinning slightly. "What was that?" Inu-yasha didn't answer for a second or two, but then he seemed to come to his senses, shaking his head briefly and then taking Koga's hand.

"I'm sorry, seems I'm not wide awake myself!" he said, forcing himself to smile. "You know how it is... with the move and everything... gets you all out of sorts."

"Oh, I recognize the situation perfectly!" laughed Koga. "Have moved around a bit myself. I know exactly how you feel."

_No, you don't_, thought Inu-yasha bitterly, fighting to maintain the happy, carefree grin. _You can't even begin to guess how I feel, you flea-bitten bastard. You have no idea. You have no fucking idea of what you have stolen from me._


	2. New resolve

New resolve

"So how did the first meeting with the love of your life go?" shouted Miroku from the living room as Inu-yasha came back in, closing the door softly behind him.

"Have I ever mentioned someone called Koga?" asked Inu-yasha calmly, taking off his shoes.

"I think so... always in the same sentence as either "runt", "bastard" or "I'd like to tear his guts out and use them as skipping rope", if I'm not mistaken."

"Do you know the background of me and this Koga?" Inu-yasha asked, equally calmly, going into the kitchen and choosing a heavy porcelain plate he'd never really been fond of anyway.

"He was your rival?" said Miroku after a short pause.

"Exactly. And do you know who stares me in the face when I go over that street to talk to Kagome?!" Inu-yasha hurled the plate into the wall a short bit from Miroku's head, shattering it into one thousand, seven hundred and sixty-two pieces (Miroku knew this because he later gathered them up, glued the plate back together and sold it to a pawnbroker for enough money to buy a couple of drinks in a bar). "That fucked-up sorry excuse for a demon, Koga! Isn't it enough that he tried everything to win Kagome last time, now he has to be my rival in this life too?! He is her fucking BOYFRIEND now! What does she see in him?! She didn't love him the last time!"

"I know I've suggested this theory before and you didn't believe me," said Miroku calmly, not looking up from the table where he had laid out playing cards, "but what says the soul have to stay exactly the same the second time around? It is possible that she truly loves him this time. You can't expect your entire life to repeat itself."

"But she can't love him!" Inu-yasha said, and now there was despair in his voice rather than rage. "She really, really didn't love him last time. It's not fair..."

"Who said life was fair?" asked Miroku philosophically. Inu-yasha stayed silent for a couple of minutes, then he sighed and raked his hands through his hair, sitting down beside his friend with a thud.

"What are you doing?" he asked eventually, looking at the table.

"Playing a simple Solitaire," Miroku replied, and checked what the nearest card was.

"You cheat on _Solitaire_?"

"It's not _cheating_. I never cheat. It's..." Miroku searched for a word that could excuse his behaviour... "making an investment, that's what it is. If I know what I can count on, I can take calculated risks. The risks I take – the risk being losing the game – weigh up the investments."

"Miroku, you can't call it risks if you know what you are going to get."

"It's small-mindedness like that which makes you such a terrible card-player."

Inu-yasha watched his friend for a couple of more seconds, then leaned back in the sofa, putting his hands over his face. This day had not gone as he wanted. Kagome was supposed to feel a strange yet irresistible connection to him, they would go out a couple of times and then he would tell her the truth about their past lives and they'd fall into each other's arms. She was _not_ supposed to be together with Koga. How could she have chosen that moron? Didn't she remember how he had both kidnapped her and almost killed Inu-yasha once?!

_No, of course she doesn't remember_, his inner voice told him, rolling its eyes, in a purely metaphorical sense of course. _Reincarnated persons don't remember their past lives. Well, usually, anyway._

That was the hitch, wasn't it. Inu-yasha had from the moment he took his first steps known that he was different, that he had lived before. He could remember everything that had happened in that life, from the battles with his brother Sesshoumaru to his love for Kagome. His parents had believed him – he sent a grateful thought to his dear human mother and strong-minded demon father, thanking them for not dispelling his memories as childish fantasies. They had, however, tried to make him let them go.

"You have to live your new life now, Inu-yasha," his mother had told him once. "You can't dwell in memories of a lost life and a lost love forever. The reason you were reincarnated was to live again. But not like you lived your old life – life is a series of choices, don't always make the same ones as the last time. Live again, and live anew."

Of course, he had noticed some things had changed. He had no brother in this life, and his parents were not exactly the same as he remembered them. But some things repeated themselves. Souls whose fate have been strongly tied to each other in another life will remember those bonds and be drawn to each other again. Thus it was that he met Miroku, and became his friend once more. He had told Miroku everything about their life together once – Miroku had believed him as well but not shown any great interest in the matter. He was happy with his life as it was, and did not seem to care if it resembled his earlier life or not. Actually, he'd forbidden Inu-yasha to tell him certain things, like the manner of his death, some of the choices he had made in his life and the name of the woman he once loved.

"Hey Miroku..." said Inu-yasha cautiously, "have you never wanted to meet the girl I've told you about, the demon exterminator who travelled with us? Aren't you curious?"

"Not really." Miroku shrugged, peeking at one of the cards. "I mean, could you see me with a girlfriend? I don't think so. Freedom, mate, freedom is the only thing I crave."

"You used to love her," Inu-yasha reminded him.

"So you say. But even if I did, that was in another life and I was different then. People change, Inu-yasha. Otherwise you'd never have change on our planet, but everything would just stay the same, as souls were reborn and lived their lives all over again. Life moves on and evolves. Evolution, mate. And I _have_ changed since then, even if you won't accept it."

"Fine," snapped Inu-yasha and stood up, abruptly turning away from his friend. He left the room and walked into his new bedroom, slamming the door behind him. It always made him so angry when Miroku spoke like that. Fine, so things changed. OK, maybe they did! Miroku didn't have to rub his face in it! Just because he was happy, being ignorant of his earlier life. Well, maybe Inu-yasha didn't want to live like that! Maybe he chose to _fight_ a little instead of just accepting things as they were!

He threw himself down onto his bed, exhausted from severe disappointment and built-up anger, and was asleep in a matter of minutes.

When he awoke in the evening, later that day, he found the house empty. Miroku had left, leaving a note on the floor bearing one single word: Party. This meant he wouldn't be back until the next evening, or possibly three days later, depending on if he met a girl or not. He had left some food in the kitchen though – seafood wok, Inu-yasha's favourite. It was a sweet gesture, meant to cheer his old friend up a little, and Inu-yasha appreciated it fully.

He ate his food by the window, looking over into Kagome's garden. Koga had probably left by now – there was only one car in the driveway. And good riddance, too.

Well, the game wasn't lost yet, not if Inu-yasha had anything to say about it. What said that he couldn't simply steal her back? If he got to know her and they spent some time together, she would probably realize that it was them who were _meant_ to be together, them who were the _right_ couple. After all, she had agreed to show him around, hadn't she? She probably felt the chemistry at work already. Maybe she was sitting there in her large, empty house – now that stupid wolf was out of the way – looking over at him, Inu-yasha, and wondering what had made her feel so... safe, and happy, just by talking to him...

Whoa. No need to let his imagination run away with him now.

Well, tomorrow was Sunday. He could stroll over to her house tomorrow morning, casual like, and ask if she had any plans for the day or could she give him that little tour she'd promised? And she'd laugh and say yes, just a minute, and then they'd spend the day together, getting to know each other. Oh, and the neighbourhood too, maybe. That was it, he decided. Start slow, as friends, and then they'd see. They had started slow the last time, too, hadn't they?

He sat in the window until late in the night, looking over at her house as if it could tell him all the secrets in the world. How was she right now? Had she changed? What had her life been like? Dangerous, boring, happy, sad? How did she spend her days, did she study, work? What was her goal in life? Her hopes and fears? What did she dream about?

In the house on the other side of the street Kagome slept, dreaming happily about waffles with syrup.

**elsiey: **This is not a one-shot...;) (Sheez, what do you think of me? Do you really think I'd just leave it there? Talk about no plot...:D)

**ra:** Of course.:)


	3. Mistakes

Mistakes

"What do you say we stop for a while?" asked Kagome, gesturing to a small café on the other side of the street. "Don't know about you, but I could really do with a large juice right now. God, I'm so tired. And it's hot, isn't it?"

It was no wonder she was tired, thought Inu-yasha to himself. She had dragged him through half of town, showing him all the big sites and also many favourite places of her own – cheap shops, nice restaurants. All in good neighbourly fashion... but nothing else. She didn't seem to even consider the fact that Inu-yasha might be interested in her as something else than a friend, something he found a tad irritating. Oh well, she was probably only temporarily blinded by that stupid wolf demon's charms – if he had any.

"Hey, you're pretty quiet. You OK?" Inu-yasha woke from his thoughts to find Kagome smiling at him. He smiled back, putting the thought of Koga out of his mind.

"Yeah, fine. But I'm a bit tired as well. Let's grab a seat."

"I love this place," said Kagome as they took their seats at a table in the sun outside the café. "I have my favourite waiter here, he's such a sweet guy. I think you'll like him too, almost everyone does. Here he comes now!"

Inu-yasha turned around as she pointed to someone behind him. His eyes nearly fell out of his head.

"Shippou?!"

"I'm sorry?" The young fox demon stopped in his path, frowned in confusion. "Do I know you?"

With the puzzled eyes of both Kagome and Shippou upon him, Inu-yasha had to think very fast, coming up with something that would explain how he could recognize the other demon. Not knowing what to do, he said the first name he knew was closely tied to Shippou and would possibly know him in this life too.

"Manten mentioned you some time, showed me a photo..."

As soon as he had said the sentence he cursed himself. _Good_, Inu-yasha! Say the name of his most hated enemy last time around! Whatever contact Shippou might have had with him in this new life, it couldn't have been good.

"Manten?" Shippou frowned thoughtfully, scratching his neck. "Can't say I recall the name. Might have been an old class mate, of course. I'm not very good with names and shit..."

"That's it!" said Inu-yasha gratefully, a drowning man knowing a plank when he saw it. "Don't know him too well myself, but he showed me a photo from the year book once and said you were very good at... at..." Inu-yasha floundered wildly. The plank had turned out to be rotten through... "at cards! Card games and stuff! Yeah, because we were discussing poker. That's it, now I remember." He grit his teeth, waiting for the _what the hell are you talking about_. Surprisingly, however, Shippou merely grinned bashfully, rubbing his neck.

"Aw, don't know if I'm _that_ good..." he said modestly.

"Oh, come on, you know you are!" Kagome exclaimed, smiling broadly at her friend. "You conned Koga out of fifty bucks when you met at the pub once, he told me."

"Yeah well, that was _Koga_."

As the two continued talking and teasing each other, Inu-yasha breathed a deep sigh of relief. That had been close, too close. He had to keep in control and not reveal what he knew of their past lives – not yet, anyway. He had hit Jackpot this time – talk about lucky guess – but he probably wouldn't get that same luck again.

He watched, smiling, as Shippou and Kagome laughed together. Well, they had been fond of each other last time too, hadn't they? Inu-yasha himself had never liked the runt. Alright, so that wasn't entirely true – the kid had been funny, after all. But oh-so-obnoxious.

He felt a bit jealous as he watched the pair. How come everyone found Kagome so easily? Inu-yasha himself had searched his entire adult life until he met her again, but Koga and Shippou seemed to have just stumbled upon her. Of course, their souls were drawn to each other, but they didn't have to become _such_ good friends, did they? And Koga! Stealing Kagome like that! Who did he think he was?!

"Orange juice for you as well, Inu-yasha?" smiled Kagome, and he came back to himself. Not trusting himself enough to speak, he merely nodded.

"Right, ma'm. It will be ready in just a minute." Shippou made a mock bow and left, walking stiffly and primly but throwing them a playful look over one shoulder. Kagome grinned back and then put her nose in the air, sniffing at him and making a great show of being an old upper-class lady. They heard him laughing as he stepped into the café.

"He's such a funny guy, don't you think?" said Kagome, turning to Inu-yasha with a big smile on her face. "I went so often to this café during one period that he started recognizing me, and every time I'd come he'd be waiting at my table, always telling little jokes and cheering me up if I was in a bad mood. I first really got to know him during a party we both happened to find ourselves at... he's one of my dearest friends now. I sort of think of him as a younger brother."

"I thought so," said Inu-yasha, thinking back on the days when she'd devote herself to the young pup Shippou, play with him when he was sad, protect him when he was in danger, hug him during cold nights. Miroku might be right when he said that souls change, but some things still stayed the same. "You have a "real" little brother as well, don't you?" he asked. "Sota?"

Kagome's eyes darkened.

"How do you know about Sota?"

"Oh!" Inu-yasha fidgeted, mentally slapping himself. Did it again... "You... er... mentioned him before..."

"Did I, now," said Kagome, and in her eyes was something that could only be suspicion. Then they cleared and suspicion gave way for sorrow. "He died when I was very young. He was six years my junior, and only four years old when he died. A demon took him, a crow demon. It was exorcised three days later, but he was still dead."

Inu-yasha stared at her, dumb-founded.

"And still you don't hate demons?!" he asked, incredulous. "Many people in your place would have blamed it on the entire demon-hood. Why don't – "

"You can't judge an entire species on one individual," said Kagome simply. "It would be like hating all humans because one human committed a murder. I loved my brother very much, and although both he and I were so small when he was killed, I've often felt sad about it. But killing crow demons or detesting other demons will not bring him back." She shrugged. "So what would be the point?" She looked away from him for a few seconds, then turned back, smiling. "But what am I doing, talking about silly things like this? Sorry, you shouldn't have to hear that."

"No, it's alright," answered Inu-yasha hastily. "It doesn't worry me. I want to know a lot more about you. I think you're the most interesting person I have ever met." So many sides of her that he hadn't had time to find before the end... so much he had missed in their past life together.

"You know, that's exactly what Koga said to me when we met," grinned Kagome, already in better spirits. However, as her mood lightened, Inu-yasha's fell. The wolf. That stupid wolf couldn't be forgotten. What right did he have to barge into Inu-yasha's life again? Inu-yasha growled silently to himself as Kagome happily chatted on, ignoring the little voice inside him that was reminding him that it had in fact been Inu-yasha who barged into Koga's life this time.

¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨

Sorry for the delay... I've had trouble with the computer. But now it's hopefully OK again. :)


	4. Lost in Dreams

Lost in Dreams

"_Why good morning, Inu-yasha!"_

_Kagome looked up at him, pushing her fringe out of her eyes and smiling. He leaned on her fence, admiring her work with the rose bushes lining the edge of her garden. He noticed a stray blade of grass stuck in her hair, and reached out a hand to pluck it away... and suddenly Kagome was ten years younger, dressed in her green and white school uniform, her hair blowing free around her shoulders. No fence separated them now, and he picked her up in his arms, hugging the small body to him. He drew a deep breath, filling his senses with her wonderful scent... blood. She smelled of blood. _

_He ran his hand through her hair and it came away sticky and red. Abruptly he shoved her away from him, looking at her in alarm. She smiled at him, looking puzzled, and then opened her mouth... and blood ran out of her mouth and over her chin, and as the eyes turned lifeless and the body limp in his arms he heard laughter, cold cruel laughter that made his hair stand on end and set his blood boiling. _

_...Inu-yasha was lost and alone. He stood in the courtyard of a castle, a courtyard where the ground was soiled with blood. Naraku was gone, having fled at the last minute. Miroku and Sango lay dead, fallen side by side, their arms wrapped around each other in one final embrace. Shippou, his body torn to pieces, was lying next to Kirara, who was whining, licking the dead boy's face while the life ran away from herself. And Kagome..._

_Kagome..._

"_Go," she said softly as he threw himself down beside her, checking her body for the worst wounds, his brain racing to think up a cure for her. "Go, Inu-yasha. You have to... kill Naraku. To avenge... Kikyo."_

"_I don't care," he snarled. "I don't care about Kikyo." Her main arteries were cut, in the neck and arms... he had to find something to stop the blood flow, quickly..._

"_Inu-yasha." Her voice was now barely more than a whisper. "Don't you see? I'm dying. Use your strength to... to heal yourself instead, and go after Naraku. For... them." She inclined her head towards their companions. "And for... for me."_

"_No. Kagome, I'll..."_

_Her hand dropped limply to the ground._

"_Kagome. Kagome!"_

_The cold lips returned no answer, the empty eyes could not see him._

"_KAGOOOMEEEE!!!!"_

Inu-yasha woke, screaming, to the dark night in his new house. Someone caught him as he shot upright in his bed, someone put their arms around him and held him, hugging him tightly. _Kagome!_, he thought for one wild moment, but then he noticed the masculine build of the arms and the faint scent of after shave.

"Miroku?" he asked, his breath still coming in short, sharp gasps.

"It's alright," said Miroku softly, stroking his hair gently. "It's OK. I'm here."

Exhausted with terror, Inu-yasha let his head sink onto his friend's shoulder, relying on Miroku to comfort him and make everything good again, as he had done countless times before. He knew how to get Inu-yasha out of the black land of nightmares and back into the world of the living. Inu-yasha closed his eyes, thanking the heavens that Miroku was home that night.

"What was it about?" asked Miroku later, as they sat in the kitchen with one large cup of cocoa each (with a generous helping of brandy, Miroku had insisted). Inu-yasha averted his eyes, looking at the wall.

"Can't tell you."

"My death?"

"Among others'." Inu-yasha could never describe that day to his friend, because it would mean revealing more of the past than Miroku was willing to hear. And anyway, Inu-yasha wasn't sure if he could tell him, either. He didn't know if he would be able to describe that day, that horrible day when his life came to an end. They had found Naraku at last and he had proved to be strong, far stronger than anyone of them had reckoned on. He had had his minions murder Sango, Miroku, Shippou and Kirara, but he had saved Inu-yasha and Kagome until last. And they had fought, fought and killed his minions one by one, fought until at last Inu-yasha managed to get close enough to Naraku to deal him a deadly wound. But Naraku had escaped before Inu-yasha could finish him, and Kagome had collapsed, having been dealt too serious wounds to live on.

From that day Inu-yasha no longer lived. His body was whole, but his heart had died together with his companions. He learned that Sesshoumaru had at last eliminated Naraku, "finished my brother's sloppy job", to use the demon lord's own words. He learned that a war was now raging between Sesshoumaru and the one of Naraku's shades he hadn't been able to kill, Kagura. He learned that Kaede was hard put in her village, begging for his help. And he didn't care about anything he heard.

The last thing he remembered from his past life was a snake demon, blocking his path and gazing malevolently at him with green eyes.

"_Sso, the famous half-demon, with ssstrength of a full and more. Funny, you don't look so sstrong at all..."_

He supposed the snake had killed him. The thought didn't bother him at all.

"Sheez, mate," said Miroku, shaking his head. "I'm glad I don't have any memories of my past life if that's what you get for it. You must have at least one of those nightmares per month! I'd go insane if I had to endure that. I mean, look at me, I'm shaking like mad and I didn't even have the bloody dream! It's your voice, you know. That's plain horrifying. You put enough terror in that scream to last through five Swedish zombie movies."

"Have you never had a single dream like that?" asked Inu-yasha incredulously. "That's what dreams usually are, a link to our past life."

"Had one or two," said Miroku carefully, looking at his right hand. "About wind. And being swallowed up. Think it's that thing you told me about, my hand? That it was like some kind of abyss? Damn scary, anyway. Is that how I died? No, never mind, don't tell me. I don't want to know."

They sat in silence for a while, until Inu-yasha felt a need to break it.

"Had a good week?" he asked. "Last time I saw you was... Saturday, wasn't it? What have you been up to?"

"Met this terrific girl at the Roxy," said Miroku promptly, not surprising Inu-yasha in the least. "She was absolutely _loaded_, had this great yacht and a cab that would have costed you several years of pay. So we went on a trip for a while, must have been a group of... sixteen maybe... great week. How about you? What's up with the girl? Been a month now, I want to see some action!"

"We're having dinner tomorrow," said Inu-yasha. Miroku grinned, broadly.

"Well, good on you! Tell you the truth, I was getting worried that we would ever see any improvement here, what with the boyfriend and stuff... broken up, have they?"

"Er... no," said Inu-yasha, looking embarrassed. "Actually... he's going to be there, too."

Miroku blanched.

"Well, there's nothing wrong with threesome, of course, only I didn't quite think you – "

"No!" Inu-yasha exclaimed, blushing. "Geez, you are such a pervert! No, I'm joining them on a friendly dinner. Just as a friend."

"Sorry, mate," said Miroku, laying a hand on his shoulder and looking sympathetic, "but you know what they say about men who are 'friends'. Your hope of scoring with this girl is practically _dead_. 'Course, in a manner of speaking, _she_ is dead..." Miroku got no further, as a hand shot out and grabbed his windpipe, pressing uncomfortably tight. He choked, and gestured wildly with his hands. Inu-yasha growled deep in his throat, then released his hold just enough to let his friend speak, his eyes glowing red.

"Sorry, it was uncalled for," croaked Miroku. "But you know I joke about serious things... aargh... would you mind letting me go? Um... your eyes are red again..."

Snarling, Inu-yasha opened his hand and drew it away, careful not to let his elongated claws slice the throat of his friend. He turned his back on Miroku and tried to relax. It was at times like this, when something upset or angered him suddenly, that the demon blood which was part of his heritage made itself known, and he lost control. He breathed slowly, trying to regain that control. When he felt somewhat calm again, Miroku's wheezy, short gasps for air finally made their impact on his brain and his conscience and he turned back, biting his lip when Miroku flinched.

"Sorry," he said, feeling utterly ashamed of himself. "I thought I had it under control these days, but..."

"Oh, it was my fault," said Miroku cheerily, a guy who could forgive and forget in less than five seconds (a world record). "I shouldn't have said what I did. But you know me – the insensitive bastard!" He laughed, then put his head on one side and regarded Inu-yasha curiously. "You really do love her, don't you?"

Inu-yasha gazed at him seriously, then looked away and nodded.

"Fascinating." Miroku was now looking at him with something that resembled awe. "True love. Ain't it amazing. Well now, how about I mix us a drink or something? I could do with a Slow Comfortable Screw Against The Wall right now, but since that seems improbable I'll have to make do with the drink of the same name instead. How about you? You like Bloody Mary, don't you?"

Inu-yasha's gaze went to the clock suspended on the wall.

"Miroku, it's four o'clock. In the morning."

"And?" asked Miroku, a man who hadn't only turned the day around, but shoved it in a food mixer afterwards. He could just as well eat lunch at nine p.m. as seven thirty in the morning, and complained loudly about people who wanted more than four hours sleep each night. And he felt that whenever he woke up, be it four o'clock in the morning or four o'clock in the afternoon, the day began. He'd once written a complaint to McDonalds for not serving breakfast at eleven p.m.

Inu-yasha thought briefly of explaining to Miroku that normal people used the night for sleeping and the day for working, eating, mixing drinks and suchlike, but decided that he was much too tired. He sighed, rubbing his temples and thinking longingly of aspirin.

"_And_... I want to go back to bed. I have to get at least a couple of nightmare-free hours of sleep, alright?"

"Alright." Miroku shrugged. "Guess I'll take a walk past Roxy and see if there is any action."

"But it's Thursday, Miroku! And you've only just come back!"

"Aw, I didn't know you missed me that much," grinned Miroku, making Inu-yasha grimace. "Think I'll only be off for the night, so don't worry. You'll have your Miroku back in no time."

"Gee. Lucky me."

.................................. 

SORRY FOR THE DELAY! I've had a crazy couple of weeks... Ooh, and by the way – I don't think I mentioned this (oops) but there will be characters that do not appear in the original manga in this story. Just thought I'd tell you:)


	5. Welcome to the Motel Inuyasha

Welcome to the Motel Inu-yasha

Inu-yasha awoke at twelve o'clock and was halfway to his bedroom door, panicking, before he remembered that he had the day off from work and was in no danger of being late. He returned to his bed and sat down on the edge of it, yawning wide enough to swallow a small continent. Well, he had gotten his eight hours of undisturbed sleep, at least... now where were his jeans?

"Well, good morning," said a voice behind him. "Aren't you a handsome one."

Inu-yasha froze. He closed his eyes and counted slowly to ten, then turned around, fearing he knew what he was going to see. And was proven right. There was a young woman lying in his bed.

In _his _bed.

"What – the – _hell_ are you doing here?" he growled, jumping up from the bed and glaring down at her with his most fierce expression. She didn't seem at all taken back by the I-am-ready-to-kill-something glare, however, merely looked up at him with a very insolent smile.

"Miroku said I was free to sleep wherever it took my fancy," she said. "And I must say _you_ took my fancy, rather a lot." She grinned at him, then stretched slowly, alighting him to another infuriating fact: she was wearing _his_ Blind Guardian T-shirt. Ooh, Miroku was going to pay for this.

He stormed out of the room, seeking target: Miroku. In the corridor he almost stumbled over another girl who, seemingly, preferred sleeping on the floor. After disentangling his foot from her long hair he hurried on, swearing to himself that this time, Miroku wouldn't live to see daylight again. Of all the idiotic playboys! He found his friend in the living room, sipping a drink of something... green... and watching MTV. He took a deep breath, intending to fracture Miroku's eardrums with the lecture the moron was about to receive.

"MIROKU, WHAT THE – " he began, but got no further. Miroku turned around and with the most annoyed look any rowdy kid has been given by a parent, said "Shush!" This response from someone who had taken advantage of his home made Inu-yasha so surprised that he deflated completely. As Miroku turned back to the TV, watching a video by A-teens doing their fifth come-back, Inu-yasha simply stared, stared, and then stared some more. Finally he got a grip on himself and walked around the sofa, intending to sit down beside Miroku – so as to have him closer at hand when he decided to strangle the pitiful excuse of a human.

However, the space in the sofa was already taken. By a third, sleeping girl.

Inu-yasha dropped into a chair, counting slowly to ten again. When he felt that this wasn't enough, he counted again. To fifty. By the time he arrived at forty-five, he felt calm enough to talk to Miroku without wanting to rip his bowels out.

"Miroku," he asked, "would you mind telling me why there is a girl lying in my bed, wearing my T-shirt and saying she wants me? And while on the subject, do fill me in on why my home seems transformed into what I shall for lack of better word call... motel? And with that I mean, WHY ARE ALL THESE BLOODY STRANGERS SLEEPING IN MY HOUSE?!??"

"Shut up!" hissed Miroku, clamping a hand over his mouth. "You'll wake her up!" He indicated the girl in his lap, who was snoring. To Inu-yasha, it didn't look probable that she would be waking up this century. He said as much to Miroku, and added something about how Miroku was in danger of sudden, ever-lasting sleep, also known as death, as well.

"Alright, alright," sighed Miroku. "I'll tell you about last night if you try to keep your voice down. Met these five girls at the Roxy – "

"Excuse me. Did you just say... five?"

"Yeah, two are sleeping in my bed. Anyway, met these girls at the Roxy and man, they are great! All-night party animals, just like me. Trouble was, the club closed at seven, and nothing else was open. Have I ever mentioned how extremely _dead_ this town is?"

"And what are they doing here, now?" asked Inu-yasha, a dangerous glint in his eyes. Miroku grinned.

"After-party."

"Miroku, what the hell?! You can't bring people here! This is what we call a respectable neighbourhood – "

"Ah," said Miroku, smiling, "With that I think you mean, _was_ what you call a respectable neighbourhood."

Inu-yasha spluttered for a while, before realizing that it was fruitless. And, as countless times before, he just gave up. Miroku was an insufferable idiot, but somehow, he always got away with things like this.

Oh well. Inu-yasha owed him one for the comfort he had been yesterday, anyway. He just hoped Kagome hadn't noticed anything.

...um, and the odds that she hadn't noticed Miroku plus five girls partying were...?

Oh shit.

...................................

"I heard that there was a bit of a party in your house yesterday?" grinned Kagome, as Inu-yasha stepped into her house, hanging up his coat in the hall. He cursed under his breath, regretting that he hadn't knocked Miroku's head off while he had the chance.

"Yeah," he said, wondering how to explain himself, "it wasn't me, actually..."

"I thought so," said Kagome briskly. "Otherwise I would have expected you to invite me! Ooh, are they for me? Thank you." She took the bunch of flowers from him with a smile, then motioned with her hand into the house. "Follow me to the kitchen please, and I'll put these into water. Koga isn't here yet, but he'll arrive in just a few minutes. Works late on Fridays, his boss is nothing less than a slave driver. Horrible, isn't it..." Chatting easily, she led the way into the kitchen, which was light and spacious. Miroku would have cried tears of happiness if he saw it.

Inu-yasha would have been happy just to sit there and listen to her talk for the rest of the afternoon, but his peace was broken after about ten minutes, when the scream of tyres could be heard outside and a car stopped in Kagome's driveway. Inu-yasha had come to recognize that sound. Very well. Only one person drove fast enough to leave a small tornado of dust in his wake.

"Hello, 'ello!" came Koga's voice from the hall. "It's me!"

"We're in the kitchen!" shouted Kagome, grinning at Inu-yasha. "Honestly," she said, "one of these days I'm going to have to install an internal phone or something in this house. I shout myself hoarse in here!"

"Well, hello," said Koga, stepping into the kitchen. "Sorry about the delay, but you know what they say – the fine folk arrive late! How are things with you?" He stuck out his hand and Inu-yasha took it, reluctantly.

"Fine," he managed. "Just fine. Feel like everything's finally straightened out now, and it's a real home instead of a house filled with boxes. Had a spot of trouble with some of the plumbing the first week, but that's sorted out as well now."

"Oh, really? I've had some experience of plumbing, actually. If there's any trouble with it again, just give me a call, and I'll take a look at it."

"He just can't resist any opportunity to show off," said Kagome, tugging on Koga's ponytail fondly. "Well, if you two could keep yourselves amused for a while, I'll finish our dinner..." And she walked out of the room, leaving Inu-yasha alone with the one person in this world he'd rather not have spoken to if he could avoid it. But surprisingly, he found that Koga was smart, and funny, and that he actually liked talking to the guy!

This spell of Koga-liking lasted about half an hour, until they were part-way through their meal and Koga asked the question that made Inu-yasha choke in outrage.

"So, Inu-yasha," said Koga casually, as if he was talking about the weather, "why didn't you invite your boyfriend along, too?"

(This was where Inu-yasha choked on his food.)

"My... _what_?!"

"I think he means the young man who is living with you," said Kagome. "I've sure seen him around a lot, so we assumed you were a couple."

"He. Is. Not. My. Boyfriend." Inu-yasha ground the sentence out between clenched teeth, blushing up to his ears.

"Oh, I'm sorry," said Koga, looking very unhappy. "...You broke up?"

"What? No!" Inu-yasha exclaimed, all good-natured feelings towards Koga evaporating on the spot. "What the hell – do we look like we're together? He's just living with me, damnit! Using and exploiting my house! _And I am not gay!_"

"Whoa, take it easy." Koga grinned apologetically. "Sorry if I offended you, I just thought... OK, I was wrong," he added hastily as Inu-yasha bared his teeth, saying what would be universally understandable as _One more word and you're a dead wolf, mister._

"So..." Kagome strove to steer the conversation onto a safer path. "Do you have a girlfriend, then?"

"No! Isn't it _obvious_?!"

"I'd say it is," muttered Koga under his breath, adding something about _"homophobic, as well"_. Inu-yasha heard him, and forced himself to calm down, smiling at both of them. (Smiling at Koga took some effort.)

"Sorry for my outburst," he said. "I don't have a girlfriend. I haven't found anyone. I guess I'm just... just waiting for the _right_ one to come along." He looked hard at Kagome as he said it, willing his eyes to tell her what his mouth could not: _You are the right one, Kagome. I love you._

"Well, I'm sure you'll find her. One day," grinned Koga, thumping him on the back, rather hard. "Until then, hang in there!" He laughed, setting Inu-yasha's teeth on edge. The first thing he would do, Inu-yasha decided, after he had gotten together with Kagome again, was kick that insensitive bastard's ass. And kick it good.

................................

**elsiey:** Sorry, I leave it up to your own imagination... suffice it to say that Miroku is in this fic an insufferable playboy. He goes off with new girls every so often...

**kid:** Thank you:)

**Yoko:** My darling silly sister, of course there will be blondness involved. (Sheez, what do you think?)

**MintiMyst:** Wow, that really made me happy. :) Hope you find lots of other nice stories!


	6. Paaarty, party!

Paaarty, party

Weeks went by, months went by. Inu-yasha came to accept Koga and to stand his company, but there would never be any great love between them. On the other hand, he grew more fond of Kagome by the day. They did everything together, and became very good friends. But Inu-yasha was not entirely happy. He still hadn't told Kagome about how they had once lived together, and the knowledge was a burden he longed to share with her.

"I think you're too tense, mate," said Miroku on one of the rare occasions when he and Inu-yasha ate dinner together. (By some freak chance they were actually following the same day pattern that evening.) "You need to relax and put this thing with reincarnation out of your head for a while. Get away from it all. I mean, when was the last time you actually did something fun?"

"Well, just last week we spent a day at the – "

"Let me rephrase the question," Miroku interrupted, shaking his head. "When was the last time you did anything fun _without_ Kagome?" Inu-yasha didn't answer, and Miroku sighed. "I thought so. Well man, you're coming with me tonight, and I won't hear any excuses."

"Coming with you tonight where?" asked Inu-yasha, feeling a little alarmed.

"The Roxy, of course!" Miroku sparkled, then noticed that Inu-yasha didn't look quite as enthusiastic. "Aw, come on – let me treat you to this. It'll be fun. I promise."

.......................................

"So let me get this straight – this guy (Inu-yasha, was it? Cool name. Descriptive, too...) is your reincarnated friend, currently trying to win back his reincarnated girlfriend from his reincarnated enemy." The girl who had spoken put her head to one side, regarding Miroku with amused scepticism. Inu-yasha let his face assume the same expression, giving her the I-know-he's-completely-nuts-but-I-kind-of-like-him-anyway-shrug. He neglected to show what was really occupying his thoughts, which was which form of torture to subject Miroku to. Here is Miroku's idea of a fun evening for his friend: take him to a dance club, introduce him – very briefly – to some girls and then tell them the story of his, Inu-yasha's, life for a laugh.

That guy would never reach Nirvana.

He was lucky the two girls _were_ treating it as a joke – otherwise they might have been tempted to book him a bed at the nearest mental hospital. Inu-yasha had at an early age learned that not everybody believed his story as readily as his parents. One of his aunts on the paternal side had, after he'd enthusiastically told her about his past life about 500 years previous, voiced the opinion (quite loudly) that he was clearly mentally unstable and needed professional help. Probably a sign of his human blood breaking through, she had sniffed. (She was a demon puritan and firmly convinced that humans were a weaker race, to be weeded out if possible.) And so Inu-yasha had been instructed to tell his aunt that it had all been made-up, a little story he liked to amuse himself with. The aunt had been satisfied, although still muttering things about too much imagination being common and _human_, above all dreadfully human.

So to stay on the safe side, he'd never told anyone about his previous incarnation again. Well, except Miroku. And that was something he was beginning to regret. Ooh, Miroku would suffer for this.

"A masterly summary, Fanny dear," said Miroku (happily ignorant of the pain he would, if Inu-yasha had his way, shortly be suffering), giving the girl one of his dazzling smiles. She raised an eyebrow. "However, you forgot one important fact: while Inu-yasha here is aware that he has lived an earlier life and can remember everything in it, _the others can't_! They have no idea that they're reincarnated from an earlier life, and think that Inu-yasha is just this cool guy they got to know by chance. So you perceive his dilemma."

There was a pause as the girl called Fanny seemed to consider this, before giving her conclusion:

"You're a dick, Miroku."

"Oh, why can't you ever believe me?" Miroku's expression was all hurt honesty. "I assure you, everything I've told you is God's honest truth."

"And here I thought you were a Buddhist."

"Buddha's honest truth then, smart-ass."

"What did you just call me?"

"Smart-ass, I believe it was. Do you want me to repeat it? A bit louder, so you don't miss it this time?"

"You're an idiot."

"You're a know-it-all."

"You're stupid."

"You're... actually, I find you rather charming at times." Miroku turned the dazzle up a notch or two. Fanny did not seem very impressed. (However, she _was_ smiling.)

"Well, I find you boring."

"I find you enchanting."

"You're ugly."

"You're beautiful."

"You're a silly little man."

"I love you."

"I hate you."

"Do you want to dance?"

"Of course."

And with merely a short "Be back in a... lot of minutes", the two of them bounced off towards the dance floor, leaving Inu-yasha sitting with the other girl, whose name he had of course already managed to forget. He was just trying to come up with a suitable topic of conversation when she laughed and leaned forward in her chair.

"Whoa, those two can talk," she grinned. "Often I wait until they have gone until I try to start any conversation... do you want to go through the introduction again? I'm sure you missed it last time."

"Sure," laughed Inu-yasha, then held out his hand solemnly. "Inu-yasha. Enchanted."

"Pleasure's all mine," replied the girl, grinning. "I'm Fanny's younger sister, Yoko."

"That's a strange way of introducing yourself," said Inu-yasha, raising his eyebrows. Yoko shrugged.

"It's how most of Fanny's friends remember me. I got into the habit of introducing myself as her sister all the time, to save confusion, and now I can't seem to shrug it off! Irritating, but there it is."

"Are you and your sis good friends, then?" Inu-yasha grinned, thinking that more opposite sisters would be hard to find. Yoko was tall and slim and had straight blonde hair down to her waist, while Fanny was a messy brunette who reached only just above her shoulder. However, just because they didn't look exactly alike this didn't necessarily mean that they were different in character as well.

"Very." Yoko smiled. "She's a darling, and we do lots of crazy stuff together. But sometimes she's a bit too over-protective. Guess she still thinks I'm fifteen... She's like that, really a mother figure."

Inu-yasha hesitated, and looked over at the dance floor, where Miroku and Fanny were now dancing. "Mother figure" wasn't the phrase he would have chosen.

"Of course, she's still an absolutely wild girl who knows how to have a good time as well," said Yoko, and grinned broadly. She had not turned in her seat to see what had caught Inu-yasha's gaze. Quite possibly she didn't need to.

Inu-yasha assumed a thoughtful face. "I seemed to miss something in their conversation," he said, looking at Yoko with a puzzled frown. "How did Fanny get from "I hate you" to answering "Of course" when Miroku asked if she wanted to dance?"

"Oh," smiled Yoko, "that's just how they talk. They just love to test comebacks on each other, and they flirt relentlessly at intervals as well. They are incapable of holding a normal conversation, because they're always trying to find witty replies to what the other person has said. They've always been like that with each other. They're quite old friends."

Once again Inu-yasha glanced over at the other two, and this time he couldn't stop himself from raising his eyebrows questioningly at his companion. "Friends" didn't really seem to fit the bill either.

"Didn't she just kiss him?" he asked.

Neither this time did Yoko turn around, however, but merely rolled her eyes. "Alright," she said, "I admit that it sometimes seems more like a very open relationship. My sister is kind of weird. (Of course, so is Miroku.) Do you have any siblings?"

"No," said Inu-yasha, "I'm an only child." For some reason the question made him sad. He knew that he and Sesshoumaru hadn't been on the best of terms – if didn't count trying to kill each other being on the best of terms – but he wondered sometimes, where was his brother now? Was he living now or had he come back at some other time? What was he doing? Would he remember Inu-yasha if they met? They had had a couple of years together, before Sesshoumaru grew up, and those years had been the best part of a childhood that was later ruined. Like he'd once said to Kagome: _"Neither one nor the other... Not demon, but not human either... no place to belong. So I thought the only way was to carve out your own place, by force. And by the time I knew what was happening... I was all alone."_ His parents were dead. Sesshoumaru had left him.

And then came Kagome.

"Funny," said Yoko, "for some reason I imagined you'd have a brother." Inu-yasha shook himself out of the memories and smiled.

"I did have a brother once," he said, "but I lost him."

"Oh." Yoko looked down, blushing. "I'm sorry." So different from Kagome, thought Inu-yasha with surprise. Kagome would ask what had happened – not bluntly, that wasn't Kagome at all, but carefully she would inquire why he had lost his brother – in a sensitive way of course. She could never stand when he had secrets from her, he thought, and smiled fondly.

But not so with Yoko.

"Don't be sorry," he said cheerfully. "It was a long time ago. ('About five hundred years to be exact,' he thought to himself with a grin.) Hey, do you want to dance? We can't let those two have the floor all to themselves."

"I'm a terrible dancer," grinned Yoko.

"Well, so am I," replied Inu-yasha. "...But I bet we can beat them in headbanging any day."

.................................

"So what do you think?" asked Fanny quietly.

"Perfect," replied Miroku, looking at Inu-yasha and Yoko who were now attracting a lot of attention by headbanging to _I will always love you_. "Same sense of humour, same boring notion that the day only has twenty-four hours, same hairstyle. If this doesn't help, nothing will make the poor bastard snap out of it. Go us."

"Match makers strike again. Speaking of which, is it time to get you a girlfriend?"

"You mean is it time for me to commit suicide?"

"A simple "no" would work just as well, you idiot."

"That would be _so_ boring."

..................................................

**elsiey:** Um... about Inu-yasha being gay – actually, when I wrote the chapter where Miroku takes care of Inu-yasha when he wakes up after having the nightmare... you know... I started to wonder seriously about which way this fic was going. For a while it seemed like it was turning into Miroku/Inu-yasha. (My mind comes up with the craziest stuff sometimes.)

Well, as Miroku would probably say, anything goes...

**AngeloflLight:** You and your sister sound scary. :) Go crazy siblings! Me and my sis can be pretty creepy together, too.

**Harei Sky:** ...that's a long name. Is the "kiba" part of the name? I get confused.

**Kunomae24:** Wow... thanks. :) That's about the best critic I couls get, you recommending the fic to others. (I'll be floating for the rest of the day now.) What's an Otaku, by the way? I am so clueless...

**Yoko:** Blondes have more fun. ;) But watch out for sisters.

Yoko: ???? What the hell is she on about now –

Fanny(In falsetto): Sometimes there's one with big blue eeeyyeees, cute as a bunny... with hair down her heel, and plenty of moooney... and just when you think she's that one in the world – your heart gets stolen by some mousy little girl... humdadummmdum... ooh, my favourite verse: sometimes you really dig a giiiiirl, the moment you kiss her – and then you get distracted, by her older –

Yoko: You're MEAN!!!


	7. The bubble pops

The bubble pops

Inu-yasha woke the next morning with a crick in the neck. OK, so maybe the headbanging wasn't such a good idea after all... But what the hell, it had been fun. And Yoko was a wonderful girl, nice and funny and interesting. She had worked in Japan for two years, so they had spoken some Japanese – Yoko laughing and excusing her terrible accent which was in fact pretty OK (at least by comparison to Miroku, to pick an example at random - and that guy had lived his entire earlier life in Japan, for Christ's sake) – and discussed mythology from the Feudal Period. (Inu-yasha knew _a lot_ about this, for natural reasons.) They'd had a great time, and Inu-yasha was starting to feel that maybe Miroku's idea hadn't been that bad when it came down to it. And speaking of the devil...

"Good morning Casanova!" yelled Miroku, bouncing into Inu-yasha's room with tray of breakfast. "Did you have a good time yesterday? You lady-killer – Yoko was absolutely smitten with you!"

"Yeah whatever, Miroku," laughed Inu-yasha. "Don't be in such a hurry to jump to conclusions. She isn't the type of girl who'd fall in love with someone after meeting them for the first time."

"You seem to have her pretty much figured out," said Miroku with a wink. "Admit it now, you old dog – you are interested, aren't you?"

"She's a great girl," said Inu-yasha calmly. "But I'm in love with Kagome. Remember?" He grinned at his friend, who had suddenly deflated.

"How could I ever forget," said Miroku glumly, setting down the tray on a small table beside the bed. "I'm going out. There's some breakfast for you – I know you like to have it at this time of day, for some reason. (I mean every day? Don't you get tired of it?) I'll see you later today I guess, unless you're out with that true love of yours. Ciao." And he left, looking weary with the world. His stance puzzled Inu-yasha, who'd hardly ever seen him tired. Of course, everyone had to crash sometime.

He ate his breakfast slowly, thinking about things. "Souls change," Miroku had said once, and his parents had said something to that effect too, several times. But he'd been stubbornly set on finding Kagome again, no matter what. And he _had_ found her, and she had turned out to be wonderful.

And yet... and yet... she _had_ changed, a little. Some things about her were new, and there was something he missed, that naiveté that was part of the "old" Kagome. She was not exactly the Kagome he had known.

"I love Kagome," he had said just now, matter-of-factly. And that was true, he knew it was, but why did he?

'Ah, whatever. Does love have a reason? 'Course it doesn't.'

.....................................

"Good morning, Inu-yasha!" Kagome waved happily from her garden as Inu-yasha stepped outside. It was Sunday, two days since he'd been at the Roxy with Miroku. "Do you have a moment? There's something I want to tell you."

"Of course!" replied Inu-yasha with a grin. "Actually, I want to tell you something too."

"Come on over then!" Kagome pulled off her gardening gloves and waved her to him. "I've got some cordial, if you want. Gods, it's hot, isn't it?" Inu-yasha agreed, smiling at her cheerfulness, and jumped over the fence easily to join her at the garden table.

"OK, should you start or should I?" grinned Kagome.

"You start, please." Because I will tell you something that will determine the rest of my life. I will tell you about our past life.

"Alright." Kagome blushed and smiled, fidgeting with her gloves. "Oh dear, this feels weird. Well, Inu-yasha, I know we've only known each other for about half a year or something, but you're still one of my absolute closest friends. And that's why... well, we weren't actually going to tell anyone yet, but..." Inu-yasha watched her flushed, happy face and was aware of a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach as, all of a sudden, he realized what she was about to say.

It was really over now, wasn't it?

"Inu-yasha... we're getting married. Me and Koga. It's not going to be for a while, but there was something... I mean, I thought you ought to know. And also I was wondering – since my dad is gone and mum doesn't really feel she can – if you'd like to give me away?"

Give her away? Give Kagome away to Koga? What cruel irony! 'Fate, what did I ever do to you, you twisted bastard?!' thought Inu-yasha bitterly, clenching his hand.

"Inu-yasha?" Kagome was looking at him, looking worried. He forced himself to smile.

"God, I'm going to have to think about that!" he said, his voice cheerful, oh so cheerful. "It came as a bit of shock, I must say. You know, I'm sorry but I'm really in a bit of a hurry. Can I catch up with you later?" He had risen to his feet, wanting nothing else than to get away as fast as possible.

"Sure..." Kagome was watching him with big, searching eyes, and the concern in those eyes made him want to break down and cry right there. "But wasn't there something you wanted to tell me, as well?"

"Nah, it was nothing important." It was getting painful to maintain the happy grin. "Another day, maybe. See you!" He turned, concentrating on not letting the despair engulf him, not yet. Just get away. Don't let Kagome see how you feel. Don't destroy this for her.

"Then it's true." Kagome spoke softly, behind him, making him halt. He turned back, puzzled, and saw Kagome standing next to the table, tears slowly running down her cheeks. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!"

As she started sobbing, hiding her face in her hands, Inu-yasha felt nothing but astonishment. Finally he reacted, walked back to her and put his arms around her, stroking her hair. Gradually she calmed down, stopped crying.

"I'm sorry," she said again, face hidden in his shoulder. "I realized who you are. You see, I dreamt this night, about the Feudal Era in Japan, and a jewel, and me and... and you. And I realized why it seemed I knew you, right from the start – because I did, right?" She looked up at him, and he nodded, silently. "So we lived a life together before. And this morning when I woke up, I understood everything you've ever said and done, it's been because..." She hesitated, but went on, "Because you love me."

"Yes." Inu-yasha closed his eyes and rested his head on hers. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry!" said Kagome fiercely. "I'm the one who should be sorry. Because now I know how hard it must have been for you, to meet Koga and hear me talk about him and everything. You really hated him, didn't you?" She didn't wait for an answer, but continued, "That's why I decided to tell you about the wedding, the sooner the better. I didn't want you to get hurt, but I knew you would, no matter what I did..." She had started crying again, and dried the tears away furiously with one hand. "I don't even know why I am crying, damnit! You ought to be the one crying!"

"I don't think I'll be able to cry yet," he said, smiling gently. Kagome gazed at him in silence.

"You do understand though, don't you?" she said finally, in a very small voice. "I know I loved you back then – I felt it, in my dream – but I can't do that now. Maybe I've changed, maybe Koga's changed, but the truth is that I really do love him. And nothing can change that. I'm – "

"Don't say you're sorry," Inu-yasha interrupted. "I'm happy for you, I truly am. I can't say that this is what I would have wished myself, but as long as you are happy, I must be happy, too."

"You're still my best friend," whispered Kagome.

"And you are mine." He bit his lip, fighting down the howl of misery that was threatening to engulf him. "But today, I think I want to be alone. I'm sorry for ruining your happy mood."

"That's OK," smiled Kagome, rubbing her fist across her eyes and stepping back from him. "I guess I'll see you later, if you can stand to be with me at all."

"Of course." Inu-yasha made himself smile at her one last time, then turned and walked towards his own house. He could feel her eyes on him all the way back, but made himself keep control until he was back inside. As he closed the door behind him, it seemed a black wave came crashing down on him, black with jealousy, rage and searing cold despair. He sank down on the floor, hugging himself tightly, without the energy even to cry.

And that's how Miroku found him when he came home, ten hours later.

.............................................

**elsiey:** Sesshoumaru is not going to show up, sorry. I don't know, maybe Inu-yasha will run into him sometime, but if he does, Sesshoumaru won't recognize him. (I like him too, but there was no room for him in this story.) Oh, and good luck with the science project. ;)

**AngeloflLight:** Nah, this is not Inu-yasha/Kagome. (Poor baby, you gotta feel sorry for him...)

**Kynomae24:** Yeah, sorry if this story's been kind of slow... I don't know why, but I wanted a pretty quiet story.

**Harei sky:** I'm working on it. :)


	8. Life without you

Life without you 

Miroku called in sick for Inu-yasha. He didn't tell a lie (for once), either. For three days the half-demon stayed in his bed with a fever, tossing and turning with fantastic hallucinations. Miroku didn't leave his side except to cook or shop for groceries, and was by Wednesday evening finally able to see an improvement. That night Inu-yasha opened his eyes and saw Miroku, and spoke for the first time since that fateful Sunday.

"Hi," he said.

"Idiot," said Miroku, and hit him with a shoe. "You _stupid_ idiot! How long had you been lying there when I found you? In the hall, with the window wide open and with nothing on but T-shirt and pants?! It's late autumn! I know it was warm in the morning but it gets fucking freezing in the evening! You could have caught pneumonia!" His voice softened as he reached out a hand to feel Inu-yasha's forehead. "Fever's gone down now, at least. Do you know how worried I've been?"

"I'm sorry." Inu-yasha coughed pathetically, reaching out for a glass of water. "I guess I was a little crazy."

"Care to share?"

Inu-yasha was silent for several seconds, but then looked up at his friend, looking more hurt than Miroku had ever seen him. "They're getting married," he said.

"Oh." _What do you say at moments like this?_ thought Miroku. _What do you say when the girl he's been dreaming of his entire life marries someone else? When a dream that has sustained him through I don't know how many years suddenly ends? When he wakes up and sees reality?_

"But I think I am going to be alright." Inu-yasha was looking down at his hands, gripping them together tight, almost convulsively. He looked young, Miroku reflected, young and very vulnerable. "I must. Because I'm going to be at their wedding, and I can't upset her..." The hard self control he'd been keeping since he woke up wavered, started to crack. His hands were shaking.

Miroku sat down on the bed and put his arms around him.

"I think you need a good cry," he said quietly.

Inu-yasha gave in, and cried.

……………………….

_The worst part is the loneliness. Large parts of my life, both the past and the present, have been so lonely. And once you've tasted friendship and love, it's so hard to go back to being without them. That's why I craved Kagome. Because she would know me and the other me, and she would share this secret. I don't know if I can carry it alone... It's such a big part of me. Even if I meet another girl, even if I fall in love again, can she live with me when there is clearly something I'm hiding?_

"Yo, Inu-yasha!" Miroku shouted, startling him from his thoughts. Popping his head around the doorframe, the once-monk, now as-far-from-monk-as-you-could-possibly-get grinned as he saw Inu-yasha sitting propped up against a couple of pillows, with a steaming mug on the bedside table. "Good to see you're feeling better, mate. I'm just going to nip out for a bit, see this exhibition about exotic fruit at the Botanical Gardens, but I'll be back in a couple of hours. There's some soup on the stove, you can heat it up if you get too hungry, otherwise I'll be here in time to make dinner so don't worry about that. And don't forget to drink that mug there. You know it's good for you."

"Knowing you, I'm not so sure." Inu-yasha smiled and picked up the cup, peering into it critically. "Hmm... it _looks_ like normal tea, it _smells_ like normal tea, but..." he took a small sip and snorted, "it sure as hell doesn't taste like normal tea. Miroku, what is the percentage in this? Seventy-five? And don't you know how to make _anything_ without alcohol?"

Miroku frowned. "Well, there is the Teetotaler's Surprise, of course... no, I tell a lie, it's got Scotch in it. That's the surprise." He winked; Inu-yasha rolled his eyes. "Well, I have to get going. See you later... oh! There was one more thing. I know this might not be the right time, but..." He pointed to a piece of paper on the table. Inu-yasha picked it up with a puzzled frown and saw a phone number written in a sloping hand. There was also a cute cartoon in one corner, of a long-haired girl doing the victory sign and winking. "Yoko gave me that, to pass on to you. She said call her anytime you want to do some headbanging. And, well, it's Friday... but of course, I understand if you hate the idea. I just wanted to tell you."

Miroku left, and Inu-yasha lay back again. Actually, now that almost a week had passed since he'd talked to Kagome, he was feeling better. Lighter, somehow. He had loved Kagome, loved her with all his heart. And it was something that he'd never fully get over. But that had been the "old" Kagome, the one he knew so long ago. That had been something that belonged to his past, his other life. For Inu-yasha _had_ changed, no matter how much he had tried to tell himself that he hadn't. He had finally realized that. The new Kagome – well, in a way he loved her, too, but for different reasons. He would never forget that, _could_ never forget that, but he might be able to get over her.

And love someone else.

_And Kagome still knows about me. She knows me and the other me, and she can like me for both of them, I hope. And I have Miroku._

Suddenly he grinned. He might get over Kagome, and he might not. He might find a girl who was willing to love him even though he wouldn't tell her everything about him, and he might not. There was no way of knowing. But he could damn well try.

Inu-yasha picked up Yoko's note and reached out for the phone.

The End 

…………………………

Hey guys! I'm really sorry it took me so long to update this – and I'm especially sorry since this is the last chapter. The reason for the break is that I lived away from home for a while and could not get at the computer.

I decided long ago when I started on this story to make it a pretty open ending. However, after reading all your reviews for the last chapter I became really inspired. So when I've got some time off from school – sometime next year – I might tackle this again and do a sequel. I've got a few ideas; nothing serious yet, but I might make something of it eventually.

Until then, tallyho! Thank you very much to all reviewers, especially you faithful ones who were with me right from the start.

Ciao!


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